![]() ![]() With a lot of time, patience and self-forgiveness, it's easy to see that it was completely natural that I wanted to commit to one man, to call him my boyfriend, to want to get married, to get married in order to devote myself to him BUT all those things are secondary to loving genuinely & wholeheartedly. It's such a naïve, elementary concept but I honestly thought I was setting up these fundamental blocks filled with random objects and social standings that would somehow transpire into my happiness. At this point you're thinking, Christine - life isn't a formula. Growing/changing was an unknown variable that I didn't account for. We both grew into adults that only shared a timeframe with one another – we shared no values, no interests, we shared no common goals. People are constantly growing, changing in every-which-way. I moved through each relationship stage seamlessly but I ultimately failed to reassess our stability. I rationalized that if people perceived my life to be good, it must be good. What people thought of me mattered more than how I felt about myself. I have aspirations for the relationships I'm involved in, for my career, for self-betterment, for life in general - I always have and I always will but I see now that my rationale was slightly flawed I say slightly, simply because I allowed materialism to dictate my progression. I used to think: "When I get (this), I'll be happy." "Once I get promoted, I'll be fine." "Once I'm married, we'll be happier." "All we need is a house & we'll be able to build our home." ![]() I wanted something palpable to show people the progression I was making in my relationship & by extension, my life. I promise.Ĭountless moments in my life have been unnecessarily consumed by defining my title, my social status. Preface: In NO way was that last sentence meant to be facetious you'll see where I'm going with this. At one point a couple goes from just talking/dating/seeing each-other to a "couple" - calling someone your boy/girlfriend or husband/wife somehow solidifies things or it's supposed to. Hm, the simplest example I can think of is the use of titles. What one would view as progression, another may not acknowledge at all - who's to judge what's acceptable? What actual progression consists of, I wouldn't know - well, I wouldn't be able to define it for you. Within every relationship, the need for progression exists. It's a common story with different variations some boy(s) / girl(s) - depending on preference but the underlying theme remains: PROGRESSION. ![]()
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